Let's start with short introductions.
Stephen Robert Voydat is my father-in-law. He was born in New York June 7, 1927 the second son of Polish immigrants. We met about 24 years ago when I started dating his son, my husband, Jim. Stephen was an anesthesiologist during his working years. He and his wife (at the time), had four children, Linda (deceased), Steve (homeless), Bob (Colorado) and Jim (mine). Steve has dementia and Alzheimer's.
I am Sherri Voydat. I have three teenagers, a husband and three cats. I like to run, read, bake and cook. I clean when I need to work things out in my head - sometimes it works. I am learning how to care for my 87 year old father-in-law (FIL).
May 2014 I started caring for my father-in-law part-time. I started by taking Steve two days a week. Eve, my step mother-in-law (SMIL), dropped Steve off at about 8 a.m. and would pick him between 4 and 7 p.m. that night. We have moved up to having Steve overnight once or twice a week. Eve and I typically talk on Sunday night and work out which days I can take him so I can put it in my phone calendar.
Tip #1 - Put it in writing. When you schedule, repeat the schedule after it is agreed upon and then write it down, on paper or electronically. If you can send it to all people that need to know do that too.
Why? Old people forget things. Once in a while I forget things or need to change my scheduled day. My SMIL is 84. She forgets what we talk about or remembers it incorrectly. More than once she has shown up with my FIL and I wasn't home or I wasn't expecting him. Instead of being angry about it we needed to work it out. Keeping emotions out of it helps keep things peaceful.
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| Steve hanging out at our house. (1/2015) |
