Grandpa-isms of the Week

We had Grandpa all week and he was full of little gems for us.

Scene:  G'pa sitting on couch.  Jim and I on either side getting ready to help him stand up.

Sherri:  You ready to head to bed?
G'pa:  Wait.
Sherri: Take all the time in the world.
G'pa (smiling and raising his hands): I'm [the] king of the world!
Jim and I laughing: Yes. Yes, you are.

Just Need the Walker at the Titanic Railing!

Scene:  Waiting in the car for Tylor to get out of school.

G'pa:  Why are we here?
Sherri:  We're waiting for Tylor to get out of school.
G'pa:  Why is he here?
Sherri:  He needs an education so he can go to college.
G'pa:  He should play soccer.
Sherri:  But he needs to go to college so when he can't play soccer anymore he has a job.
G'pa:  Jobs suck.

So True!

Scene:  Sitting on the couch with me.  Steve is watching baseball and I am balancing checkbook.

Sherri:  Ugh.  That's done.
G'pa:  What?
Sherri:  I balanced our checkbook.  Never looks as good as I hope.
G'pa:  Why?
Sherri:  Kids are expensive.
G'pa:  I bought cars for [muttered word] mine.
Sherri:  Well, that's not in the budget.
G'pa:  [I] got this.

NICE!

Scene:  Steve getting haircut from pretty Asian woman.

Sherri:  So, Grandpa, how's the haircut look?
G'pa:  Good.
Sherri:  Can you say thank you to the stylist?
G'pa (smiling):  Can I stay?
Sherri:  What?  Why do you want to stay?
G'pa (smiling bigger): She's nice. [I] look good, too.

Uh-huh.  We're still leaving Old Man.