Ted Talk on Palliative Care

Living happens

To all of us.

 

Dying happens.
To all of us.

Yes, it can be sad and messy and powerful and
hard and normal and absurd and
everything in between.

Because dying is
part of life.

So many of us think of life and death as two separate things.

 

It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, the two are connected.

 

What if the things we cherish most in life were the same

things we carry with us toward death? Those moments that make us feel awake.

  Loved. Human.

What if we could live our lives – fully – all the way to the end?

 

 

The Executive Director of Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco did a Ted Talk on Palliative Care.  I was moved by this man's personal story but more moved by his passion for living life, finding beauty and joy in those moments that you think there just can't possibly be any.  If you live or love you should watch this talk.  It can teach all of us the importance of compassion.

 

http://video.ted.com/talk/podcast/2015/None/BJMiller_2015-480p.mp4



Shhhhh! No, really, shhhhhhh.

I don't think of our house as being noisy.  After living here for almost 16 years I have become 'house deaf'.  It's that squeak of the fourth stair in the middle, the hamster that eats at midnight, the water softener set for 3 a.m., the hall closet door that clicks and groans as you open it.  I just don't notice these things anymore.

But Steve does.

Steve woke up at 4:10 a.m. this morning because he 'heard something'.  I got him back to sleep in about 20 minutes but I was up for good.

I made the mistake of being too quiet with Connor as a baby and he woke at the smallest thing.  Tylor could sleep through a car wreck.  And Lauren?  Locomotive derailment with a fiery explosion and ensuing mayhem (cue the screams and sirens).

How do I retrain an 88 year old toddler?

Happy G'pa Voydat waiting for breakfast

As Long As I Have Hair!

 Grandpa has been having
hacks cut his hair for a while.
It has looked like hacks have
been hacking at it.

How do you like your new haircut Grandpa?

                                     I look good.

 

 

                                Give me your best GQ Grandpa.

Done.

My 87 Year Old Toddler or Naughty Grandpa

I couldn't capture pictures of Grandpa's antics yesterday.  But I listed them for you!

1.  Didn't want to brush his teeth because he was going to eat a cookie.
          (Never did get a morning brushing in but I made him wait for the cookie until 10.)
2.  I gave him 6 oz of Coke to go with that cookie.  Walked back in the room and his glass was
          empty and upside down.  (I should have looked harder then.)
3.  At 11 I came in to do some physical therapy with him and couldn't find the stretch band.
          Found the band and the Coke (the liquid!) in the side table drawer.  Just so you know that
          drawer is water (Coke) tight.
4.  I had to wash the stretch band so we did work with a balloon ... which he popped.  We worked
          with the soccer ball next.  He couldn't pop that.
5.  We had grilled cheese and soup for lunch ... and so did the cats once Grandpa shared.  Blek.
6.  He took off his new fish socks after lunch and put one under the cushions on the couch.  I
            found it this morning.
7.  After dinner I gave him a cup of strawberry ice cream.  While I was taking something to the
            garage he asked Lauren for a cookie which she gave him.  I came back in and asked if he
            wanted anything else and he said, "A cookie.".  I gave him two.  Lauren came back through
            and told me she had already given him two.  Doh.
8.  Wanted to negotiate bedtime routine.  It took 30 minutes to get him down.

This morning I was laughing about yesterday.

A Little Lunch

We walked around downtown SJ and found a Johnny Rockets.  Steve wanted a bacon cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate milkshake.

 I couldn't believe he drank the entire shake!

Don't Quit Your Day Job!

 I was shaving Steve this morning and he started to laugh at me. 

  It's true.

 

 I asked him what was so funny.

 

"You shouldn't quit your day job."

Funny guy.

People People Watching

 
 
 

 This is what you get when you sit and watch people at the mall... two amused people smiling.

A lady just walked by and Steve said, "Not bad."....and smiled.  Bad Grandpa!  :-)

Um, Yes, I do want seafood, thank you.

Steve and I went grocery shopping.  I let him pick dinner.  Can I just say my food budget is bust for the rest of the month!  King crab legs and wild caught salmon are not cheap.  But, oh, are they so good....

Brown butter Salmon
with Capers



Steve enjoying seafood and herbal tea



And, it's good!

Another Day in Hades

4:15 pm – We took cheesecake for Steve tonight.  Steve kept saying, “I’m trying with her.” And “She won’t.”.  'Her' and 'She' is Eve. I asked if he was trying to get her to take him and he nodded.  He ate most of the ravioli and potatoes but didn’t like the bread.  He really likes the fruit cocktail of all things.  He even eats the squishy grapes ... blah.   We brought him cheesecake again and he really enjoyed it.  He did ask for a beer.  (He does this every time we come.) 

We walked the halls and met up with Steve's ‘Spanish Beauty’ who sang to him twice.  She is a lovely woman who is in the long-term care wing.  She seems to be trying to make the most of what is her life but when you first look at her, before she has a chance to react, she looks sad and forlorn. She sings Spanish love songs and it is achingly beautiful.  We haven't seen anyone visiting her which makes me sad. 

This is a sad place.  It has little joy.  You can see the visitors trying but the smiles seem pasted on for the person they are visiting.  The moment their backs are turned you can see the sadness or sorrow on their faces.  Do I have this too?  I know I feel that way.

 

Don't Underestimate Me.

People who have dementia are NOT stupid or incapable of
clear thought.  They just may not be able to get it
out clearly enough for stupid people
who discount their worth
and what they can
contribute.
Love
all.